man you know it is new years eve when an old jewish man waiting in line behind you in HEB has like 6 bottles of red wine, champagne, and like 4 6-packs of Old American Ale.



awwww yeaaah I know who's house I am crashing to night! Maybe we'll even shoot Roman Candles at cars on the highway like last year!

Dear ~Lebanese-Man


I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm selling myself. I think I realized it when I threw up under a state of trance and I saw you carve your initials into my avocado plant. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that there is no solution to this.. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep David's tricot outfits as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break Oprah Winfrey imitations.



Fuck off now,
Clare.




[link]


I tag all of you! And yes, I am aware that I didn't obey all the rules, but I did it for science!

LANCE ARMSTRONG IS GETTING BACK INTO PROFESSIONAL CYCLING OH MY GRAVY OH MY GRAVY GRAVYTRAIN AHHHHHH

... today i bought one of those bionicle toys...



..i've liked the stupid thing since 2001...








I feel retarded but it's so much fun. ._.;;

Why, you may ask?



Well one, I'm me. Okay. Come on, I rock.



Two, I just got 100 lines on Tetris. Yes, 100. One Zero Zero.



And I'm the only one in my family to ever do so. I feel so proud and talented!





-basks in the glory of total ballinness and bows to the roar of the crowd-